Elephant in the room by Peter Fuller

THE PREFACE

When Lady Millicent Fenwick-Stowe entered the antique shop in the High Street she was not to know that the proprietor, currently known as Algernon Braise, had been married four times previously and had been made a widower by that same number.  These four wives had had much in common, for they each enjoyed considerable wealth in their own right and all had suffered the same fate, that of falling down their family staircase rendering them dead in the hallway below.

On each occasion, before calling for help, Algernon Braise would remove the piano wire that he had stretched across the top of the stairs and ensured that no indication would be found that it had ever been there.  Three months after each tragic event he moved as far as possible to another part of the country, whilst using his new-found wealth to buy a different identity.

“Welcome to my humble emporium”.  Algernon greeted Lady Millicent with a slight bow.  “Please feel free to look around and I do hope that you like what you see.”

Recently-widowed, Millicent required a single glance of Algernon’s tall, athletic, broad-shouldered frame, his intriguing clear blue eyes and impressive waxed handlebar mustache to decide that she did, indeed, like what she was seeing.   During the following weeks she visited the antique shop almost every day.

Within six months the pair had announced their engagement and two months later they wed in Barminster’s pretty church.  This proved to be a joyous occasion, with Millicent’s brother, Christopher, saying in his best-man speech that Millicent may have found a perfect husband for her, but he had now also acquired a true and loyal friend within their family.

The tone of this day was carried forward, for much to Algernon’s surprise his initial predatory feelings towards Millicent, and her wealth, quickly turned into ones of great fondness, which in turn grew into true love.  He was initially bemused, and not a little disconcerted by this unplanned turn of events, but had to concede that, as fates would dictate, he had found in Millicent, with all improbability, the love of his life.

THE STORY  

Algernon knocked over his black King with a flick of his finger.  “Well played, Christopher.  Before I take my revenge upon you in a second game, I have something to give you”.

He rose from his chair, collected a package from the dresser and laid it upon the chessboard with a flourish.  “You will remember that I suggested that you buy a Ming plated that I saw advertised by a fellow antiques dealer. Well, I didn’t wait for you to act upon my recommendation, but acquired the plate, which I give to you now as a present from Millicent and me.  It represents, in my view, an exceptionally fine investment”.

Christopher was moved beyond measure by Algernon’s gesture and it took him some moments to find his voice.  “This is an extraordinary act of kindness, Algernon, and well beyond my expectations”.

“Think nothing of it, old chap”.  Algernon unfolded the newspaper wrapping that had protected the plate in transit and lifted the plate into the air to inspected it with an expert eye.  “Yes, this is an excellent example of a plate of this type and of the period.  There are no cracks or chips of any kind as far as I can see.  Look Christopher, see how translucent it is in the light”.

But Christopher was not listening, for his eyes were fixed on an article printed in the newspaper wrapping.  Beneath a photograph, which was unmistakably that of Algernon, a heading read. ‘The wife of a prominent local businessman tragically killed in a fatal fall in the family home’.

Moments passed before Algernon realized that Christopher’s attention was elsewhere.  When he did, and with well-concealed horror, he too saw the news item.  He snatched the paper from Christopher’s grasp and pretended to read the article with incredulity.   “What an extraordinary coincidence this is!” he said hurriedly.  “As you know, Christopher, I have made no secret of the fact that I am a widower and that my former wife died following a fall.”

He crunched-up the newspaper and threw it into the fire grate.  Filling the air with light-hearted chatter, which he trusted would deflect what could have become a catastrophe situation, he quickly set-up the pieces for a new game.  His opening move was King’s Pawn to E4.  Christopher did not retaliate immediately, for his mind was in turmoil.

“Your move”.  Algernon said questioningly.  Christopher removed his gaze from the screwed-up newspaper in the grate and said absently, “Yes, yes, of course, Algernon”, and moved his King’s Pawn to E5.

Algernon made his customary follow-up move; King’s Knight to F3.   Christopher tried to remain focused on the game, but found this impossible.   “How can this be?”  his mind reasoned, for Algernon had always insisted that the accident to his wife occurred whilst he was living in York, yet the newspaper in the hearth was a copy of the ‘Kentish Times’.

“Come on old chap”, Algernon said encouragingly, “Otherwise I’ll have my revenge in no time”.

Christopher made his counter move; King’s Knight to F6, but there was no possibility of him continuing with the game.  He once again stared at the scrunched-up newspaper.  There was no doubt about it, in the article Algernon was identified by the name, Harold Benfield.

The air hung heavily between the two and Christopher knew that he had to remove himself from the situation.  “I’m sorry, Algernon, but I am suddenly taken rather unwell”, he said and rose from his chair.

Algernon rose, too, and restrained Christopher momentarily by lightly holding his arm.  “I can tell that you are in a state of confusion, rendered by the article in the newspaper, but at another time I promise you that I will offer you a complete and satisfactory explanation”.

There will be time for me to make up a plausible story, he thought.  Without realizing it at first, however, he continued to talk from his heart … and inexplicably, to speak the truth!

“I want to assure you that my love for Millicent is absolute and that I have made it my life’s ambition to protect her and to make her happy.  I also hold my friendship with you in the highest regard and will not countenance anything that will hurt it”.

“To demonstrate my true feelings in these matters, I can reveal to you that I have secretly arranged an elaborate party to celebrate Millicent and my first wedding anniversary.  Once I have explained about the newspaper article, I trust that you will find it in your heart to say a few appropriate words during this blessed celebration”.

THE CONCLUSION

On the evening of the anniversary party the front-door bell rang and Algernon called to Millicent from his study, “My dear, Christopher and Margo are here”.  Making his way out of the room, Algernon heard a crashing sound and then a thump.

He rushed into the hall and found Millicent laying at the foot of the stairs.  She had accidently caught the heel of her shoe in the carpet at the top of the stairs and died immediately when her head hit the polished stone floor at the bottom.  Algernon rushed to his wife, tenderly cradled her broken head in his hands and wept.

The doorbell rang impatiently a second time.  Christopher called out, “Please hurry up, it’s raining cats and dogs out here.”   Algernon continued to weep over the body of his wife, but now his tears were for himself.